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I'm watching the pirated DVD Mr. & Mrs. Smith
with English sub-titles and they mangle almost every line.
Listing them all would take me forever so below I just list the major ones.
 Very Well then, let's pop the hood
 So it speaks but does it dance?
 I hope so. I had to milk a goat to get it.
 Ya know, I knew Gladus 2 and a half years before I asked her to marry me
 You gotta have a friendship, a foundation to consider yourself safe
 Getting Married!
 So what did you think of Doctor Wexter
 ... have never seen the inside of that elevator
 So I think we're going to have to re-upholster the sofas
 Have you been selling big guns to bad people?
 So Chuck got the promotion.
 Oh look, more desert
 Let's see if we can't get a tune out of this trombone
 It can be arranged
 Put a campfire out with it?
 It's a nice surprise.
 Well I hope everything works out OK.
 Some figures didn't line up
 Let's not get carried away. We don't want to go to sleep angry.
 Really?
 The guys we work with, they don't know, I'm never going to tell them.
 Target's profile is our main priority
 Utilize all means necessary
 Research the database
 Chicken Shit!
 Pussy!
 Mom! We're on high alert! I almost killed you right there. You cannot even realize!
 I am so done playing games with this broad
 You gotta take this bitch out head on
 I thought I would just drop in, hey doll, thanks for giving me the shaft.
 Wasn't I? Or was I?
 Oh come on, it was just a little bomb.
 I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning.
 Your aim is as bad as your cooking sweet heart
 Whose your daddy now?
 I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
 The vacation in Aspen ...
 I was partially deaf that night.
 Why do I get the girl gun?
 We need a new car.
 I have to tell you ... I never really liked your cooking.
 It's not your gift.
 Baby, I've never cooked a day in my life
 You know, sweet heart ... you're being a bit Hypocritical
 It's not like your some beacon of truth
 John ... my parents ...
 These doors sure are handy.
 We're gonna have to redo every conversation we've ever had.
 Maybe? Johny got the entire agency gunning for you.
 I find myself dragging my feet this morning
 I think you owe me a little money anyway
 Sweet, we don't understand each other and I understand that
 You remember Canada?
 Not a great shot, Johny
 Would one of you guys mind changing the channel?
 312? How? Some were two at a time
 I'm on the police bands. This is not my first time.
 I think we've established that. All right.
 No, it was the John show, it was half-assed like Christmas ... like our Anniversary.
 Your fake mother's birthday
 You don't want a team. You want a servant for hire.
 This isn't even a real marriage
 Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage
 It sends a mixed message
 Option A. You talk, we listen, no pain
 Option B. You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my plyers
 They found our you're married so they teamed up
 So, at least apart we know what the odds are
 Let's just call this what is ... and what it isn't.
 But you run, you'll always be running
 I'll see you in the next lifetime Jane. Likewise John
 I'm interested in the progress you've made
 Ask us the sex question
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